


Winter Nights

by evak1isak



Series: Summer Nights [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Even Bech Næsheim, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drugs, Evak - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Love Triangles, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shower Sex, Swimming Pools, Tags May Change, yeah sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-04-22 21:05:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14317146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evak1isak/pseuds/evak1isak
Summary: After the events during the summer in Eva's cabin, Isak is trying to get over everything, but his love life as well as a new student from high school won't make things easier...Second part for "Summer Nights"





	1. Winter Nights

**Author's Note:**

> okaaay so here you have the first chapter for "Winter Nights". I know, a bit dramatic for just a summer fling, but what's life without drama?? Anyways, thank you to those who have been waiting for this second part to be uploaded. I'll post new chapters soon
> 
> love ya xx

 Think I’ll miss you forever

Like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies

Late’s better tan ever

Even if you’re gone I’m gonna drive, drive, drive

Summertime Sadness – Lana del Rey

 

 

Isak moaned before breaking the kiss in order to breathe, his back against the wall. The other boy still had his hand behind Isak’s neck, and he offered him his joint with his free hand right after taking a drag. Isak drew in, the smoke reaching his lungs. The mix of arousal, being high and the loud music was just bliss.

 

Jonas had disappeared, probably looking for someone to hook up with. He’d never liked standing awkwardly next to Isak if he was kissing another guy; Jonas wasn’t a fan of being the third wheel.

 

A week had passed since school had started again, and this was the first party of the year Isak attended with his friends. What he didn’t expect, though, is that he’d end up hooking up with Chris.

 

“Don’t you want to go somewhere more private?” Chris asked, kissing Isak’s neck while Isak finished his joint.

 

“What’s wrong with making out against a wall?” Isak said. Chris was now kissing the corner of his lips, oblivious to what was going on at the party.

 

To be honest, Isak didn’t want to do anything else with Chris, kissing was enough. Also, he felt like the boy did feel something for Isak, when the blond boy didn’t feel much for him: he just wanted to make out.

 

Chris went back to Isak’s neck, now focusing on his collar bone. That’s when Isak saw Noora talking to a bunch of girls by one of the sofas, right in front of him. He waved his hand (luckily Chris didn’t notice, thank the weed) until Noora noticed him and understood what was going on.

 

The girl approached until she was standing behind Chris. “Uh… I’m sorry, but I need Isak to come with me. Eva got pretty drunk… as usual.” Noora was always good at coming up with excuses.

 

Chris turned around and looked her up and down, “Yeah, sure. You can have him, but not for too long,” the boy joked, and Noora just gave him a smile that was rather unfriendly. The girl had never been fond of his now ex’s best friend. The couple had broken up right before summer ended, and, although at first Noora was heartbroken, she realized that it was for the best (Isak and all of his friends knew that it was a super toxic relationship). It didn’t take her that long to get over William, or so it seemed. Chris kissed Isak again before letting him go.

 

“I thought you wanted to hook up with him?” Noora asked as she walked through the crowd, holding Isak’s hand. “Let’s go to the garden.”

 

They both sat on a bench, the winter winds getting into their bones. “So? What happened that you wanted to get rid of him? I mean, he’s hot,” Noora said.

 

Isak sighed, “It’s just that… I just wanted to hook up to forget but instead it reminds me of everything.”

 

Noora stayed in silence for a while, “Does it still hurt?”

 

Isak nodded. “A bit.”

 

The girl put her arm over Isak’s back, resting her head on Isak’s left shoulder. “Isak, it’s been three weeks already. I know it hurts but either he doesn’t want anything else or something has happened.”

 

“I know that, deep down I do. But I just don’t want to acknowledge it, you know? Something had started to blossom within me, there was something that could actually last if we got to know each other, because what happened in summer was only, you know, a summer fling. But with winter, everything that hadn’t even begun shattered.”

 

“It’s going to be difficult, even if it was just a _fling_.” Noora stood up, “I’m probably going home. Come with me if you want.”

 

“Noora,” Isak said before the girl could leave. “Does it still hurt?”

 

The girl gave him a pitying smile. “Sometimes, even if I try to look like I don’t care. But I must learn to get over him, it’s not the end of the world. Are you coming?”

 

Isak shook his head. “I’ll wait for Jonas; I can crash at his house tonight. Send a text on the group chat when you get home.”

 

“Good night, Isak.”

 

“Good night, Noora.”

 

***

 

Isak was having breakfast with Jonas in his house the next day and, as usual, he checked his texts. Well, Even’s texts. They had texted for a few days after he’d left Eva’s cabin, but, then, suddenly, the conversation stopped. Isak tried calling him after sending several texts, but Even didn’t reply. He sighed and blocked his phone before taking a bite of his toast. He’d thought about putting some avocado on it, but that’s what Even cooked for breakfast and, God, he didn’t want his depressing toast to remind him of Even, thank you very much.

 

Isak had also asked Sana if she knew anything of Even, but she didn’t, she told him that she actually didn’t know that much about him, and her brother was studying abroad, so that didn’t help. One day, Isak decided to give up, he wouldn’t try to contact him, right after spending a whole afternoon eating ice cream in Eva’s bed while he cried on the girl’s lap (which wasn’t the best idea because the ice cream reminded Isak of summer and Even). Now, he’d given up contacting Even, but that did not mean that he waited for a new text every day. However, that hadn’t happened since summer ended, and it looked like it wouldn’t happen, even if Isak denied so to himself…

 

“So, what’s going to happen with you and Chris?” Jonas asked as he sat on a chair in front of Isak, interrupting him from his train of thought.

 

Isak rolled his eyes, “You know nothing is going to happen.”

 

Jonas rose his eyebrows and smiled, “Really? Chris seemed like he wanted more.”

 

“Yeah, but I don’t.”

 

“Come on, Issy, it’ll be good for you. It’d help you to get over Even.” Jonas spread some butter on his toast.

 

“I did get over Even, Jonas.”

 

“Yeah, sure. You’re still waiting for new texts from him.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

In that exact moment, Isak’s phone buzzed, and a new text entered. Isak felt something flutter within him; he looked at the screen, hoping for a new message from Even, a text where he told him how he’d been in the Sahara dessert with no signal and that’s why he hadn’t messaged him. But it wasn’t a text from Even, it was from Chris.

 

Jonas had tilted his head to look at the screen, “See? He is into you. And you were expecting the text to be Even’s.”

 

“What if I don’t find him attractive?”

 

It was now Jonas’ turn to roll his eyes, “You _do_. Just go on a date with him or something, and then you decide.”

 

Isak looked at his friend and unlocked his phone, biting his lip. The thing is, he’d give Chris a chance, even if he was the official fuckboy from their school. But, deep down, he knew that if he went on a date with him, it’d be like finally acknowledging that whatever that could have happened with Even was over, and he was too afraid of losing that option.

 

chris fuckboy

 

could we by any chance

resume our making out session

??

 

wow, you’re so blunt

 

you like it

are you doing anything this afternoon?

 

No

 

wanna come over?

 

…

okay

but i don’t promise anything

 

don’t worry

I’ll conquer you

;)

 

so humble

 

 

“Did you say yes?” Jonas asked.

 

“Yeah, although it’s not a date,” Isak took another bite and finished his toast.

 

“Trust me, Isak, this will help you forget about The-One-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

 

“Hey, don’t compare Even to fucking Voldemort.”

 

Jonas shook his head, “He fucked with my best friend, he’s dead to me.” Isak tried to hide his smile. He knew Jonas would always be there for him.

 

***

 

The last time Isak had kissed someone on a bed, it was Even. Now he had Chris on top of him on the boy’s bed. Isak grunted because, well, Chris was a really good kisser, he wouldn’t deny that. And, fuck, he knew how to take control. Also, it was kind of cosy. It’d been raining that afternoon, and Isak got to Chris’ house soaked, cheeks completely red. It surprised him how charming the Penetrator member was, serving him a cup of chocolate while he warmed up.

 

The rain was now hitting the bedroom window while the winter winds howled outside, shaking the trees. Chris kneeled on the bed, between Isak’s legs, and placed one of his hands on Isak’s T-shirt hem. “Can I…?” He asked, and Isak nodded, knowing what he meant. Chris pulled Isak’s T-shirt over and kissed his tummy, softly. He traced his happy trail and caressed the tender skin with his nose. And that’s when it hit Isak: Chris had asked for permission, like Even always did. Chris was being _gentle_ with him, wasn’t using him for just pleasure. Like Even had… right? Memories of the dock, the river, the pool and the stolen kisses in the village’s streets as well as the sex, overflowed Isak, who pushed Chris away.

 

“Are you okay?” Chris asked; he looked at him, his nose almost touching his body. The boy incorporated when he saw that Isak had frozen.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…” Isak felt a tear form on the inner corner of his eye. He stood up and went looking for his shoes, “I need to go.”

 

Chris accompanied him to the main entrance, “Did… Did I do something wrong?” Isak put his raincoat on, turning around to the boy before leaving. “No… It’s just me. I’m sorry,” Isak said. The older boy looked disappointed, and for a moment the sound of rain filled the silent room. “Okay,” he said.

 

And Isak left.

 

Something had happened inside that bedroom; when Chris kissed his belly, Isak only thought about how much he desired Even to kiss him there instead…

 

***

 

Another consequence of his failed epic romance story was that Isak signed up for swimming lessons. Since he knew zero about swimming (he had to be honest with himself, since that first kiss with Even the rest of the lessons became just kissing sessions in the pool), he had been given two options: either he swam with the little kids or he learned how to swim with old people. He obviously chose the latter option, basically because at least he could have a conversation. He had lessons on Monday and Thursday, right after school, which meant that he got home exhausted.

 

He made friends with a boy and his flatmate, both in their twenties, who sucked at swimming as much as he did. At least, while he was in such a place that reminded him of Even, he could forget about all of his thoughts in his head and just miserably fail to swim in front of a group of people who could easily be his grandparents.

 

The two flatmates, Eskild and Linn, had been drooling over the new lifeguard (well, Eskild was _way_ more obsessed than the girl) since the first lesson. Eskild had told him that he’d found out that the lifeguard was just a substitute, hence why Eskild was in a hurry to get in his pants (well, swimsuit in this case).

 

They were now swimming with armbands and lifesavers on, Isak between the two friends, when Eskild began interrogating him.

 

“So, Isak, is there any girl or boy lucky enough to be dating you?” Eskild asked, making ripples of water while he stretched his arms.

 

“Uh… Not really. I had something with a guy this summer but he hasn’t spoken to me ever since.” Isak realized how comfortable he was talking to them, probably because they were just strangers.

 

“See, Linn? Told you he wasn’t straight,” Eskild said, cocking his eyebrow.

 

“You always assume cute guys aren’t straight, Eskild.”

 

 The boy moved his head forwards in order to look directly at Linn. “Ah, but I’m always right. Anyways, Isak, that boy probably doesn’t deserve you, you should just find someone else, someone who will stay with you. You’re young, you’ll meet plenty of boys.”

 

“Uhmmm… Thanks? Is the new lifeguard an option?”

 

“Oh, no, sorry. He’s mine, look for someone else, Isak!” Eskild said before he started swimming faster towards the end of the pool, were the lifeguard was sitting. Isak laughed while he used his arm to protect his face from the splash Eskild had created. Somehow, this guy helped him cheer up a bit.

 

***

A month had passed since school had started, and Isak life was like it’d been since the first day: no news from Even, he still went to his swimming lessons and he went out with his friends. He had also hooked up with Chris in different parties, although he felt like the boy had finally understood that Isak didn’t want a boyfriend. Or so he thought.

 

“Did something else happen with Chris?” Jonas asked during the break, body against a wall.

 

“No, why do you say that? I think he knows I don’t want to date him.”

 

Jonas tilted his chin, “Well, he’s coming towards us, and I highly doubt he wants to talk with me about the weather.”

 

Isak turned around to find Chris approaching, his rucksack hanging from one of his shoulders while he pushed his fringe aside with his free hand.

 

“Do you want me to leave?” Jonas asked, “Or should I tell him something?”

 

“Nah, don’t worry,” Isak said without turning to look at his best friend.

 

“Okay. See you later, bro.”

 

Isak stood there, holding his Biology text book in his arm, before Chris, who started talking after licking his lips. “What do you want exactly, Isak?”

 

“What?”

 

Chris held Isak’s hand, rubbing his thumb over it. “Do you just want to hook up with me? Because I want something more, and if you can’t give me that, I don’t wanna waste your time.” Okay, this was surprising. Chris wasn’t famous for being so open about his feelings.

 

“It’s not that, it’s just–“

 

Chris interrupted him, “Is it because of that boy you met this summer? Eva told me. Isak, you need to move on. If you want to, I’m here for that; if you want to stay in the past, just tell me and I’ll let you do so.” Chris held his chin and kissed him, but Isak pushed him, his textbook falling to the floor, Isak kneeling to get it.

 

“Leave him alone,” a deep voice said, and Isak froze, still kneeling on the floor. It was the same voice that had said how beautiful he was when he had had sex during the summer. The same voice that had whispered his name against his ear before turning into moans, the same voice that had promised him that they’d see each other when summer ended.

 

 

 

Even.


	2. Winter Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to forget about Even being in his high school, but it seems like the ex-lifeguard is always wherever he is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaay so here's the second chapter. sorry for the wait, i wanted to post this sooner but i was busy (also, this turned longer than i expected??). anyways, hope you like it, and thanks for the feedback, both here and in the first part!

Even.

 

He looked different now: he wasn’t wearing any swimsuit or summer clothes, of course, but instead a denim jacket with a white T-shirt and long jeans. He still had the same fluffly hair in which Isak had intertwined his fingers not that long ago. Yet he looked… tired. He had grey bags underneath his eyes and his cheeks were sunken. Isak also noticed how, despite his tan, his skin was also paler.

 

“Isak…” He whispered with the soft, calming voice you’d use when talking to a puppy. Yet, for whatever reason, Isak felt like he wasn’t doing it on purpose, he just couldn’t say it any louder.

 

Isak felt his legs tremble and he knew that Chris was still standing behind him, probably not understanding what the fuck was going on. He felt like crying, although he didn’t know if he was angry or sad, and he certainly didn’t want to embarrass himself in public. Without saying anything else, he stood up and left, running, looking for a place to shelter.

 

When he entered the first bathroom he found, he broke down crying. What the fuck was going on? Why was Even in his school? And why did he look so… broken? He’d been the one who had stopped replying to his texts, he was the bad guy of the story… right?. The one who had crushed him. And then he had Chris, who messed up with his feelings even more.

 

He unlocked his phone and called his best friend; Jonas always knew what to do when Isak had any problems, at home with his mum or anywhere else.

 

“What did Chris want?” Jonas said right after picking up the phone.

 

“He’s here,” Isak said between sobs.

 

“Who is here? Isak, are you crying?”

 

“Even,” Isak replied while trying to control his sobs.

 

“What? Isak, where are you?”

 

“First floor, in the bathrooms.”

 

“Stay there, I’m going,” Jonas said before hanging up.

 

A few minutes passed before his friend opened the bathroom door to find him on the floor by his backpack while crying. Crying over a _boy_. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

 

“Issy, tell me what happened,” Jonas said while he sat next to him, bringing him closer to his body until he had Isak’s head against his chest.

 

“Even is here, I swear I’m not making this up, Jonas.”

 

“Did he come in looking after you? I’ll beat him up.” Jonas was stroking Isak’s hair, trying to calm him down.

 

Isak rubbed one of his eyes, “No, I think… he was as surprised as I was when he saw me. Did you know he wanted to change schools?”

 

“No, never mentioned it to me.”

 

Isak realized he’d stopped crying now, “He told me he wanted to, but I never asked him which school, and I never told him which school we attended. God, how was I supposed to have a relationship with another person if I didn’t even ask the basic stuff?”

  
“Hey, don’t think about that now,” Jonas said while he moved his hand up and down Isak’s arm. “There’s probably an explanation to everything that happened, don’t worry.”

 

“What am I supposed to do now?” Isak whispered while looking at the floor.

 

“Now you’re going home, drink some tea and get some sleep. Seeing Even again so abruptly is probably what fucked you up the most.”

 

Jonas stood up and stretched his arm, which Isak used to stand up. “Now, wash your face with fresh water, it’ll help you,” Jonas said, lifting Isak’s backpack, still on the floor.

 

Isak obliged and let the water run from the faucet before washing his face, “Jonas?” The boy hummed in response while he patiently waited behind Isak. “Thank you,” the blond boy said.

 

“That’s what best friends are for.”

 

***

 

Isak woke up again around six in the afternoon when he heard his phone buzz over and over again. He’d been in his bed since he got home, and sleeping helped him forget about Even, but now he felt everything coming back: Even standing in front of him and looking dishevelled, the scene in the bathroom and Jonas helping him out. Jonas always helped him out.

 

eva

 

isak!!

are you okay??

Jonas told me

do you want me to come over?

just tell me if you need anything

i can bring you kebab

hope you feel better soon

xx

 

 

Isak knew Eva truly meant it, but he wasn’t in the mood of seeing any of his close friends now. Jonas had probably told her about Even, and he didn’t want her to pity him. He also realized he had some texts from Eskild (and, interestingly, none from Even), to whom he’d given his number when their friendship in their swimming lessons developed.

 

eskild pool

 

baby dolphin!

I’m cooking pizzas with Linn

you’re more than invited

 

 

Isak sighed; he knew that staying in his bedroom all day wasn’t an option, or he’d think about everything that had happened to him all night and, worst of all, he probably wouldn’t eat anything, since his mother wasn’t home and he didn’t feel like cooking. Without thinking, he replied.

 

eskild pool

 

sorry i just saw this

is it too late to join?

 

of course not!

i’ll send you the flat’s location

we got lazy and ordered pizzas instead

hope you don’t mind

 

it’s fine

see you soon then

 

 

 

Isak got off the tram and the cold air filled his lungs; he could feel how his mind cleared. He’d thought about the events of that morning since he’d left his house, but the more he thought about spending some time with Eskild and Linn, the less he focused on Even. He didn’t want to think about him now.

 

Isak knocked on the apartment’s door and was greeted by a cheerful Eskild, in his pyjamas, who hugged him as soon as Isak crossed the doorstep.

 

“What do you want to drink?” Eskild said when they got to the kitchen. Linn was cutting the pizzas into slices by the kitchen sink.

 

“Hi, Isak,” the girl said before biting one of the slices. Isak greeted her back with a smile.

 

“Just beer.”

 

“For the record,” Eskild said, “I help Linn, don’t think Linn has to deal with everything. We believe in equality, you know?” He handed Isak a can of beer.

 

Isak sniggered. He couldn’t believe that he was actually laughing after seeing his summer fling, with whom he hadn’t talked since summer, in _his fucking high school_. “So nice of you to actually _help_ her, it’s not like this isn’t your _home_.”

 

Eskild pinched his arm, “You know what I mean. Anyways, let’s go to the living room, it’s way cosier.” He seized the two cardboard boxes with the boxes and went to the other room. Eskild was right, it was cosier than the neon-light-illuminated kitchen. The two flatmates had a pride flag hanging from one of the walls, as well as pictures and paintings hanging from the other walls.

 

“So, how was your day?” Eskild asked while he munched his pizza.

 

Isak sighed, “You don’t want to know about that, trust me.”

 

“Why not? You can tell us whatever you want!” Eskild sat cross-legged on the sofa that he was sharing with Isak.

 

“Eskild, don’t pressure him,” Linn said from an armchair.

 

Isak took a sip from his beer, “You know what? I’m gonna tell you.” Isak proceeded to do so, still surprised with himself and how his mood had changed during the day. The two friends listened to him in silence, until he finished telling the whole story. He felt much better.

 

“Your life is a romantic drama,” Linn said. “You should write a book or something.”

 

“No, Linn, we must look for a strategy for Isak,” Eskild said, standing up and going to the kitchen. “I need wine to think about this.”

 

Honestly, Isak didn’t know if he actually wanted some help with his love life. He wasn’t that sure now, of whether he wanted to have something with Even. He was the one who decided to stop talking to him, right?

 

“You need to talk to him,” Eskild said once he sat back, a cup of wine in his hand.

 

Isak frowned, “Is that your strategy?”

 

“No, listen to me,” Eskild took a sip of wine. “From what you said, it looks like there’s an explanation to everything. He was probably in the Sahara Desert or something and had no signal.”

 

The corner of Isak’s mouth twitched, trying to form a smile. “Yeah, probably. What if nothing happened? What if he just doesn’t want anything with me?”

 

Eskild gave him a sad smile, “Then you carry on.”

 

***

 

even the lifeguard

 

hey i know i freaked out

but i’d like to talk to you

if you want of course

 

Isak had been staring at the screen for minutes now. He’d sent the text that morning before going to school, two days after seeing Even, and the boy hadn’t even bothered to reply. He hadn’t seen him in school either, although he didn’t know if the lifeguard was just avoiding him or just didn’t go to school.

 

Isak sighed and stood from his bed, looking for his keys before leaving the apartment. He had a swimming lesson that afternoon, although he wasn’t really in the mood. The cold winds that swept the city didn’t help either. After getting out off the tram, he walked towards the heated pool and entered the locker rooms.

 

He was alone, as usual. Eskild was always late, and the other people in their group were old women, so he always had the locker room for his own. Isak had never been too fond of locker rooms, if they had men inside. At first he thought that he just had body image issues, yet later he realized that he didn’t feel comfortable getting naked in front of other men because, well, he liked _men_.

 

After putting his swimsuit on, he left and went to the pool. The warmth that reigned in the heated pool invaded him, and he felt his stiff muscles relax. Once inside the water, he realized that the lifeguard wasn’t there, which was weird considering that he used to be there before they all got there. Isak sank his head underwater. It’s something they’d been practicing in their lessons: not being afraid of being underwater and holding their breath. Isak had actually got better at holding his breath, and he could last for longer without breathing. He ended up loving the feeling of being underwater, completely oblivious to what was going on outside, in complete silence, where one could just focus on their own thoughts.

 

“Isak!” A voice said from behind as soon as Isak’s head broke the water’s surface. The boy turned around to find Eskild jumping while waving at him, which probably wasn’t a good idea considering that the floor was slippery. “Isak,” he said once he was standing by his lane, “I’ve got bad news and good news. Which do you want to hear first?” He jumped inside, Linn following suit, both spilling water on him.

 

“I guess that the bad news,” Isak said.

 

Eskild frowned, water running down his neck. “People often want it to be the other way around.

 

“Yeah, but at least I have something good to cling to.”

 

“Okay… So, bad news: they’ve changed the lifeguard. Good news: the new one is even hotter.”

 

Isak sighed, “Not what I was expecting to come out from your mouth.”

 

The other lanes were filling with more people who attended the course.

 

“What did you want to hear?”

 

“I don’t know, that you were doing your chores or something.”

 

Eskild splashed some water, forcing Isak to close his eyes. “Rude.”

 

“Anyways, at least we have something to cheer us up while we swim.”

“Look, here he is!” Eskild said with a tilt of his chin.

 

Isak didn’t know what he was expecting to find when he turned around, but considering how life was playing with him, he should’ve expected it’d be Even. Even, who was wearing a red swimsuit and white T-shirt, exactly like the uniform he had worn during the summer. The older boy kept walking towards the pool from the other side, oblivious to what was going on, but when his eyes landed on Isak, he froze: he recognized him. He looked better than the other day, although there were still some signs of what Isak guessed was weariness.

 

Isak felt like he was cornered, and abruptly got out form the pool without saying anything else. He could hear Eskild saying his name behind him, and he probably had everyone’s eyes on his back. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t face Even in a place that reminded him of the boy so much.

 

Isak entered the locker room, completely empty, and went to the communal showers. He didn’t even bother to press the button, he just rested his head against the wall tiles, breathing in. He heard a door opening and footsteps, which ceased.

 

Isak turned around to find Even standing in front of him, hands in his pockets and with a serious look in his face. The boy approached slowly, closing the distance between them.

 

“Even, please, I don’t…” Isak started.

 

“Just listen to me. That’s the only thing I ask for. I’ll tell you everything, and then you can choose what you want to do. I’ll leave you alone. Just listen to me, at least once. Please.” Isak felt like crying. He realized that Even was _begging_ for him to listen.

 

Isak could feel the water form the pool running down his back and legs, tickling him. He gulped and nodded before looking down.

 

“I’ll wait for you outside,” Even said before turning around and leaving Isak in the locker room. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeaah sorry for leaving everything there but you'll get to know what happens in the next chapter hehe ;)


	3. Winter Forests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even finally reveals why he disappeared, but he doesn't seem that keen on restarting his relationship with Isak that soon...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this took me long (sorry!) but i've been busy and i've been writing different stuff as well. anyways, here it is. the end is SUPER corny but isak and even are too extra so...

It was pouring outside. Isak was lucky that he had put on a sweater with a hood, his curls trying to escape. Even, on the other hand, was standing still in his uniform and with his strands of hair completely wet. The older boy leaned his back against the building’s wall.

 

“Hi,” Isak whispered.

 

Even smiled. It was a sad smile, but Isak could see everything they’d gone through during the summer in that smile. He still remembered the first time he had seen it, Even’s little fangs showing and the dimples forming at the corner of the boy’s lips.

 

Even sighed, “First of all, just let me say that I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

Isak rose one of his eyebrows. “And you thought… that disappearing would be a good idea?”

 

“Isak, I didn’t want to disappear.”

 

“Then, what happened?”

 

“Promise you won’t run away if I tell you?”

 

Isak almost took a step back. “You’re scaring me.”

 

Even moved closer, their noses almost touching. And, fuck, Isak’d love to move back, but he wanted to have him this close for so long…

 

“And that’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” Even whispered.

 

“Just say it.”

 

Even gulped and looked down before meeting with Isak’s eyes. “Isak– I’m… I’m bipolar. If you want to leave me that’s–”

 

Isak hugged him before he could say something else, placing Even’s head on his shoulder while he caressed the boy’s wet mane of hair. He could feel his sweater getting wet from Even’s T-shirt.

 

“I’d never leave you for that,” Isak whispered against the boy’s ear. He felt how Even trembled in his arms.

 

The thing is, Isak hadn’t told Even about his mother, and he only realized now that he hadn’t told him much about his private life. His mother was sick, and Isak knew what it was like to live with someone who suffered from a mental illness. It wasn’t easy, and he understood why Even didn’t want to share it with him: someone had probably hurt him, shattered him into pieces because of his mental disorder. Even felt like he couldn’t trust him, or Isak would slip away from his fingers. And he never thought that Even had never wanted to leave him…

 

They’d been standing in the rain for a few minutes now, both of them soaked, yet they just kept hugging. Isak knew now that Even needed that hug, and he’d been waiting for it. Despite the gloomy weather, it was still a warm hug.

 

Even moved his head until he was staring right into Isak’s eyes, his arms still around the boy’s shoulders. He pulled from Isak’s hood until his hair was completely free to proceed to run his head through Isak’s golden hair.

 

With his hand still in the boy’s hair, he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Isak’s. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered. “Don’t say that,” Isak said back, holding Even’s wet chin with his fingers. “Look at me.” Even opened his blue eyes, filled with sorrow. “Don’t you ever say that.” Even nodded, and Isak was about to kiss him, to bring their lips together, when Even moved his lips away. “No, Isak. I want you to really think about it,” he untangled his arms, letting them fall. “I don’t want to manipulate you with this, I’d rather have you think about it when you get home.”

 

Isak looked at him almost in disbelief, “Even, I know what I want.”

 

The older boy sighed, “I just don’t want you to rush it. I’ve told you something very personal and I don’t want you to just do it without thinking, just because you feel… pity.”

 

“Sometimes you don’t need to think.”

 

“And sometimes you need to. And this is one of those moments. Please, do it for me.”  
  
Isak wanted to stomp his feet against the floor and kiss Even under the rain, like in the films Even watched, to tell him everything with that kiss: the sadness he had felt, the sadness he felt now he’d found out that Even didn’t feel that he could have trusted him, the fury he’d felt when he saw him at school, and the happiness and bitterness of having and not having him back.

 

“Okay,” Isak said. He realized now that he was completely soaked, his wet hair against his face.

 

“We can text, though,” Even smiled at him. “I’ve missed your texts.”

 

Isak frowned, “Even, I’ve sent you quite a few texts since I left Eva’s cabin.”

 

Even looked at him and his eyes widened before he hit his forehead with his palm. “Shit! I forgot. I got into the pool with my phone in my pocket to save a little girl. It’s broken.” Even pulled his new phone from his swimsuit pocket, and in that moment Isak burst out laughing. It was one of those laughs that shook your body and your rips ended up hurting.

 

“What’s so funny?” Even asked with a smile, unlocking his phone.

 

“Of course you’d jump and save a little girl! I thought you were ignoring me?”

 

Even frowned his eyebrows and looked up. “What? Of course not! Also, I had to rescue her from drowning.”

 

Isak caressed Even’s cheek with his hand, smiling. “It wasn’t during your shift, was it?” Even shook his head to the question, although Isak already knew the answer. “See? I am the one that doesn’t deserve you.”

 

“I was just doing what’s right.” Even handed him his phone. “Add your contact.”

 

Isak obliged, talking while he typed his number. “This reminds me of when I first gave you my number.” He bit his smile.

 

“Yeah, and summer had no end.”

 

“I hope _we_ have no end,” Isak said before hugging Even again.

 

***

  

Eva finally appeared on his laptop screen. She was wearing her pyjamas and had made a bun with her hair. “So, what happened?” She said with a smile before taking a spoon of her dinner. He’d texted her telling her about his talk with Even. For this kind of stuff, Eva and Jonas were the best at giving advice.

 

Isak didn’t know what to say, he was just smiling to the camera and… relieved that, somehow, he had Even back. “Okay, from that smile I can see it went well.”

 

“Yeah, I mean, he told me to think about it before doing anything else.”

 

Eva nodded on the screen, munching her food. “Makes sense. Have you… have you thought about it? Would you like having a relationship with him?” Eva went quiet. “Wow, that sounded _too_ serious.”

 

“I mean… I guess? I want to tell him yes, like, right now, but isn’t it more… uh… romantic to let things happen?”

 

“He gave you time to think about it because he wants you to make the right decision for _yourself_ , Isak. You can just tell him or see how things develop. If I were you,” she stopped to munch her food again, “I would see how things go and, if it takes too long, you just tell him. Not many guys do that, his crush is probably huge.”

 

Isak smirked, “I know something Even has which is bigger than his crush.”

 

Eva gave him a disgusted face, “Sometimes I forget you’re a teenage boy. Okay, the chat is over, I’ll see you tomorrow.” The girl waved her hand in the air before ending the video-call. Right in that moment, his phone buzzed.

 

Even the lifeguard

 

 

we can chat now!

 

If you hadn’t jumped with your phone…

 

 

it won’t happen again

pinky promise

 

pinky promise?

how old are you, 8

 

actually, yeah

 

sometimes I hate you

 

nah you don’t ;)

 

you know me too well

 

are you free this weekend?

 

yeah why

wanna go for a walk

to the mountains

 

even they’ll be covered in snow

 

that’s why!

i love snow

 

aren’t i supposed

to think about… you know?

 

we can go as friends

 

okay

 

okay

it’s a plan, then!

 

 

Isak smiled at the screen. It was a _plan_ , not a _date_ , but somehow it felt like he was travelling back in time, when they kissed for the first time.  He could obviously tell him that _yes_ , he wanted to be with him. How he loved seeing him rubbing his eyes when he woke up, like a little cat, or how his laugh was music to his ears. Or how he loved Even’s concentration face when he was cooking, with his eyebrows frowned and the tip of his tongue showing. He could just say it and kiss those lips again, and that’s what he’d wanted, but wouldn’t it feel… artificial? Why wouldn’t he just let things happen, like Eva suggested? If not, he always had a plan B…

 

***

 

“Don’t walk so fast, do you want to kill me?” Isak said as he tried to follow Even’s pace.

 

Even looked behind and smiled, “I’d never want to kill you.”

 

“Okay, then you want to save me after falling.”

 

“Nah, you’d be too whiny.” Isak pushed him in his shoulder as an answer, but Even just laughed.

 

They were walking through a forest, completely covered in snow. When they walked, the snow produced a crunchy sound under their feet, and from time to time snow fell from the tree branches, completely white now. Isak could see his breath whenever he exhaled.

 

They kept walking further and further into the forest, the trees so dense that there was almost no light filtering through the leaves.  Sometimes they found a frozen stream and they had to cross it without breaking the ice, holding each other’s arm for support. The two boys finally reached a plain, after hours of walking one next to each other while making jokes, their arms hanging next to each other and their hands, covered in gloves, almost touching. But none of them noticed, they were too focused on each other.

 

There was a well in the middle of the plain, and Isak walked towards it, leaving Even behind. The water would probably be frozen. Isak was getting closer when he heard Even’s voice behind.

 

“Hey, Isak!” The boy turned around, expecting Even to do some stupid shit, but the only thing he saw was a snowball that collided against his torso. Stunned at first, Isak reacted when Even started laughing out loud, his laughter travelling through the trees that surrounded the plain. Some bird flew off, the leaves creaking behind them.

 

Isak kneeled on the floor and made a snowball with his hand before running towards Even and throwing it at him. Not his best shot, it hit one of Even’s long legs. Even kneeled on the floor and made a ball which ended in Isak’s chest, making the boy fall to the floor.

 

Isak rose his arms in the air, “Okay, truce!”

 

Even, smiling, approached him and offered him his hand. Isak accepted it and stood up, one of his hands behind his back. He had a mischievous smile and as soon as he was standing he threw snow all over Even’s red wool hat.

 

“You, cheater!” Even gasped when the snow fell around him. He tried to grip Isak’s arms, stumbling with a rock and falling to the floor while taking Isak along with him.

 

Even ended up on top of Isak, one of his legs between Isak’s. Isak moved and made them both roll over the plain, the snow clinging to their jackets.

 

After rolling and laughing, they stopped with Isak on top of Even, the silence of the forest invading their intimacy. Isak had lost his wool hat, but he didn’t care. They were so close to each other, and Even was looking at him as if he were expecting something.

 

“Are we gonna stay here until we freeze?” The lifeguard asked with a whisper.

 

“Can… can I do something first?”

 

Even rose his eyebrows, “I mean, as long as you don’t fill my mouth with snow…”

 

Isak smiled, “It’s something else.”

 

“Okay.”

 

He didn’t really think about what he was doing, what everything implied: they were surrounded by nature, like the first time, and too close to each other, like the first time. Isak lowered his head and gave Even the softest kiss in the history of the softest kisses. It was tender, and innocent.

 

It was like kissing a cloud, and exactly as Isak remembered their first kiss. This one wasn’t as passionate, though, it was a kiss you gave to someone you already knew and you’d already kissed. It was his way to say ‘I’m here for you’.  His nose, cold, brushed against Even’s cheek as they kissed. The older boy bit Isak’s lower lip, which lead to Isak giving a soft moan. Isak opened his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering against Even’s closed eyes, which finally opened to meet Isak’s. It was actually quite weird kissing someone with your eyes open, Isak realized, ad he just laughed.

 

“You just destroyed the moment,” Even said against his lips while a widening smile appeared on his face. He placed his hand on Isak’s hair and eskimo kissed him. _Oh_ , how much did Isak miss eskimo kissing Even.

 

“Is this a yes?” Even whispered, accommodating Isak on his chest while he rubbed the boy’s back, trying to warm him.

 

“No. It’s a forever.”


	4. Winter Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even's relationship has finally settled, and Isak couldn't be happier for what is to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me ages!!! i'm sorry i was super busy! anyways, not much happens here, this is the final chapter to close the story, because i didn't see any reason why i should stretch it. hope you like it and, again, sorry for posting it after so long! new stories coming soon xx

Isak was at Even’s house now, covered by a thick blanket with his head on Even’s chest. Even had fallen asleep, and Isak was just concentrating on the boy’s heartbeat and his breathing, which moved the chest up and down. Isak still had some remains of the hot chocolate he’d just had around his lips, his soft, fluffy hair spread over Even’s chest. It’d been a few weeks since their trip to the forest and, God, was Isak happy to have Even back. Even cooked him his scrambled eggs, which tasted like heaven, when he’d stayed with him and they had started to get to know each other better. Even had shown Isak his favourite films (although it normally ended up in a making out session on the sofa while the film played on). Isak was surprised to see that, for a film nerd, Even loved films such as Notting Hill, Pretty Woman or Love Actually. Isak always made fun of them, but, deep down, he _loved_ them. Even’s favourite film was Titanic, and Isak teased him about how he only liked it because it contained people drowning in water.

 

Even was hanging out again with Isak’s friends, whom he’d met during the summer. It was great to see how well they got on with the lifeguard, and Isak’s heart melted when he realized that he’d given Even a new group of friends in his new high school, friends that cared for him. They had just come back from Noora’s apartment, and the first thing they did was slipping inside Even’s bed, which was followed by a kissing and tickling session. Isak liked it there, the boy’s bedroom was quite cosy and welcoming, especially with the snow outside.

 

After a few more minutes of silence, Even woke up. “Hei,” he said when Isak looked up at him from his position on the boy’s chest, giving him a soft kiss.

 

“Can I tell you something?” Isak asked.

 

Even held him tighter, “Of course you can.” He kissed Isak’s hair.

 

“Do you remember that guy, Chris, that was with me when you saw me in school?”

  
“Yeah?” Even frowned at him.

 

“Well, I kind of had a… thing with him. I know, I should’ve told you earlier.”

 

“And?”

 

Isak moved after a few seconds and sat on the bed, next to Even. “Aren’t you mad?”

 

Even mimicked Isak and sat as well, “Why should I? We weren’t together back then, you were free to do whatever you desired. And, also, I kind of had a thing with Sonja when I thought you didn’t want…, after you left.”

 

Isak rose his eyebrows, “Oh, really?” The question came out with a high pitch. He laughed, “That makes me feel better, then.”

 

“Were you scared that I would break up with you?” He moved until he had his arms around Isak’s shoulders, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Just a bit,” Isak said before moving his head so that their lips were almost touching.

 

Even kissed him, soft and quick. “Like that’s ever gonna happen.”

 

***

 

“So? Are you two getting married and having kids?” Eskild asked while they changed in the locker room.

 

Isak rolled his eyes and laughed, taking the soap from his backpack. Eskild was already dressed. “Who knows, maybe?”

 

Eskild smiled, “Ah, teenage love… It’s so powerful but it never lasts.”

 

“You’re just a few years older than me, and you’re saying that we’re going to break up?”

 

Eskild put his jacket on, “Of course not, I wish you the best! I’m your friend, after all.” Eskild smiled at him, “He seems nice, and you’re both very lucky to have each other. See you next week, my little dolphin!”

 

Isak smiled as the older boy left and took the soap and his towel before going to the communal shower.

 

“Are you leaving now?”

 

Isak jumped and turned around to find Even, his shoulder against a tiled wall. “I thought _you_ were leaving?”

 

Even got closer to him with his hands inside his swimsuit’s pockets. Damn, Isak loved when he was dressed like that. “Nah, I still have one hour left. I have a break now, though.”

 

The older boy walked closer to Isak until he had him against the wall. He kissed and bit the boy’s neck, who moaned in response. “What do you want, Evy?”

  
Isak smiled when he felt Even’s hard-on against his bare thigh. “Oh, I see… Why do we always have sex in showers? Do you have a kink or something? Is it a lifeguard thing?” Even had started kissing his bare chest, going for his nipples.

 

“Perhaps,” Even said while looking up.

 

Isak pushed him away, “I can’t. The boys are coming over to play FIFA.”

 

Even pouted, “And after that?”

 

Isak laughed, “I’ll text you.”

 

Even got closed and held Isak’s chin before kissing him, “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

 

***

 

“You all suck!” Jonas said after winning another match against Mahdi.

 

“You always cheat,” Isak replied before taking a sip of beer.

 

“How do you cheat on a _videogame_?” Jonas asked Isak before moving from the couch so that Isak could play now against Mahdi.

 

“By the way, guys, Even is coming later.”

 

“He also plays FIFA?” Magnus asked while he changed the settings, completely focused on the screen.

 

“He’s not coming for that.”

 

A choir of whistles and _ooohs_ followed his statement. “Can we stay?” Mahdi said, now not so interested on the TV screen.

 

“No, we’re leaving,” Jonas said. “It’s their ‘make up shag’.”

 

Mahdi frowned. “Their what?”

 

“You know, the kind of sex you have when you sort things out in your relationship. Isak told Even about Chris.”

 

“What? No, we didn’t fight about that or anything. It’s just regular sex,” Isak added in the debate about his love life.

 

“Whatever.” Jonas took a gulp of beer, “We’re leaving so that you can two have fun.” The brunette boy stood up, “So, wanna go somewhere?” He asked the two other boys, his hands in his back pockets.

 

“He’s not coming yet, Jonas.”

 

“The sooner he’s here the more time you have, right?” Jonas winked at him. “See you, Issy.” He went for his jacket and their two other friends, seeing how determined he was to leave, stood up and followed suit.

 

even the lifeguard

 

wanna come over?

 

ON MY WAY

Haha

i’ll send you the location

 

 

Isak opened the door to a very flustered Even with a wool hat covered and rosy cheeks. Whether it was due to the snow or the fact that Even was horny, Isak didn’t know.

 

The older boy crossed the doorstep and attacked Isak’s mouth, the snow falling on Isak’s cheek and making him shiver. Even placed Isak’s legs around his waist, mouths still attached. “Where’s your bedroom?” Even asked as he kissed Isak’s neck, the younger boy gasping. Isak replied in stammers and Even walked until he reached the bedroom. He hadn’t been there yet, and he would have seen the picture of him and Isak hanging from the wall, one they took in the summer, if he hadn’t been that focused on the boy he had in his arms.

 

He laid Isak on the soft blanket, his body on top of him as he kissed Isak. “Fuck, I’ve missed this.” Even kissed his lover again. “I’ve missed you.” He took his jacket and woolen hat off, falling on the floor. The snow would probably melt against the wood, but they didn’t care.

 

Even removed Isak’s T-shirt, carefully, almost as if he were a hurt animal. He kissed the boy’s navel, his lips softly travelling around it, and he travelled up Isak’s torso, the younger boy making muffled sounds underneath him.

 

Somehow, between kisses and bites and whispered _love yous_ they ended up naked, the warmth that emanated from their bodies in contrast with the cold weather outside. It was different to summer, when the warm weather and their sweaty bodies mixed together, and there was more lust than now: it was passion, it was love. Young love, but still love.

 

Isak had never felt something so intense. Probably because it was real now, and they were honest with each other, trying to get to know the other better now. Probably, but he wasn’t sure. He knew, though, and he was 100% sure, that he was drunk in love. And, oh, how much did he love that feeling: it gets into your brain and makes you feel lighter, as if you were floating among clouds. And that’s how Isak felt now, cuddled against Even’s warm body.

 

***

 

“Babe, you’re not going to fall over,” Even said, holding Isak from his arm.

 

Isak moved slowly, scared of losing his equilibrium and falling on the icy surface. He had never gone ice-skating, and he didn’t know how Even had convinced him. Well, he did: Even only had to give him some sad puppy eyes and Isak just gave in. Sometimes he hated how weak he was when confronted by the beauty of his hot, handsome and charming boyfriend.

“You just want me to fall so that you can be all heroic and save me,” Isak grunted, pretending to be angry with Even (as if that were possible).

 

Even laughed, his little fags showing and his eyes crinkling. “Maybe. Perhaps it’s like a lifeguard syndrome or something.”

 

It wasn’t Christmas, and they weren’t ice skating on a lake or anything. Winter was almost over, the snow and ice melting on the trees and new animals moving around the forests, which Isak and Even still visited (and Even took the chance to take pictures of Isak with daisies on his golden locks, like during the summer). They were in a covered ice-skating rink, because Even wanted to take Isak ice-skating during Christmas, but he went through an episode and they had to postpone it. Isak had been there for him, like all his loved ones. He didn’t want this boy to ever suffer on his own.

 

Isak finally got the hang of it and skated next to Even, holding hands, until they finally fell to the floor, Even on top of him (he didn’t know whether it was intentional, and he liked it that way). Even laughed and brushed his nose against Isak’s before smiling at him.

 

“You’re good at this,” Even said. “Although your swimming skills are actually better now.”

 

“I’ll have to show off this summer when we go to Eva’s cabin.”

 

“And if you drown?”

 

Even smiled, “I’ll save you, that’s my job.”

 

Isak kissed him.

 

“And then?” The lifeguard asked.

 

“I’ll save you right back,” Isak whispered against his lips.


End file.
